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Opening Panel Round


We want to remind everybody that they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Illinois. For tickets, and more information, go to chicagopublicradio.org or you can find a link at our website waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, a small liquor company has responded to an apparent demand, one we didn't know was out there, but apparently it is. This week, they announced, for the first time in human history, people will finally be able to get their scotch how?

Mr. TOM BODETT (Author; Humorist): Intravenously?

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: No. It's almost the next best thing.

Mr. BODETT: Inhalers?


Mr. BODETT: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Well, imagine like, you know, going up to your favorite sophisticated cocktail lounge and saying, "I'd like a six-pack neat."

Mr. BODETT: Oh, canned?

SAGAL: Yeah, canned scotch.

Mr. BODETT: Nice.

(Soundbite of bell)

Mr. BODETT: Oh yeah.

SAGAL: Get ready for Glen Schlitzitz, 12 ounces or roughly 8 shots of pure whiskey in a can. The company is called Scottish Spirits. They say they made scotch in a can because it's "lightweight and recyclable," and apparently because they want to kill people.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Because really, there's no better way to end a classy evening sipping fine whiskey with your mates in the clubroom, than smashing the can on your forehead.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: Didn't they just outlaw some drink that was, like, so much alcohol it killed?

Ms. ROXANNE ROBERTS (Columnist, Washington Post): Four Loko.

SAGAL: Four Loko.

Mr. BODETT: Four Loko.

SAGAL: Which was like an alcoholic energy drink.

Mr. BODETT: And this is like Eight Loko, right?

SAGAL: This is fine.

Ms. ROBERTS: This is just loco.

SAGAL: Well, they said that's a tremendous amount of whiskey in one container. They said, well, it's meant to share with your friends.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Outside.

Mr. BODETT: Like a Fosters, right.

SAGAL: Oh, because you're outside, you're playing ultimate Frisbee, something fun with your friends. You know what would go great right now on this hot day? Like 8 ounces of warm scotch, right there.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: That's what I want.

Mr. LUKE BURBANK (Host, "Too Beautiful to Live"): Let's be honest, nobody is playing Frisbee golf when they're drinking that. They're looking up at the overpass that's right above their head.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Exactly true.

Mr. BURBANK: "You want some more?" It does create a situation that I never thought would happen, which would be this conversation between like a father and his teenage son. "What were you drinking in the garage? Four Loko. Okay, good."

SAGAL: As long as it wasn't the canned scotch.

Mr. BURBANK: "I thought it was canned scotch."

SAGAL: Yeah.

Mr. BURBANK: "Oh my God, that's fine. Just keep going."

(Soundbite of music) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.