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Sandwich Monday: Tamale Spaceship

Eva and Tamale Astronaut
Eva and Tamale Astronaut

Chicago's food truck happened to land near our office this Sandwich Monday. We considered it our duty as hungry earthlings to eat as many tamales as it takes to ensure we're never called up for NASA's astronaut program.

The tamale heroes who run Tamale Spaceship wear Mexican wrestling masks. They do this to intimidate you into spending $4 on a single tamale and to protect themselves from flying tamale debris.

Miles: I think an entire fleet of Tamale Spaceships could reignite American interest in the space program.

Robert: Houston, we have a cholesterol problem.

Miles: One small step for man, one giant leap for pant sizes.

Eva: I was a little offended when I went to space after eating one of these and there was still gravity.

A naked tamale.
/ NPR
A naked tamale.

Mike: I hope in space, someone can hear me ask for more.

Robert: Major Tom would have a hard time stepping out of his capsule if he were aboard the Tamale Spaceship.

Mike: Yeah, Hal would totally open the pod bay doors for these guys.

Eva:I think they have to count down from 10,000 to lift this spaceship off the ground.

Tamales are a lot like bananas, except better because they're tamales.
/ NPR
Tamales are a lot like bananas, except better because they're tamales.

Miles: This is a clear rip-off of my chain of Schnitzel Submarines.

Eva: The pork one is delicious. I'm not sure how I feel about the one filled with losers from the last big wrestling match.

Robert: If I could surround all my food in masa I'd die happy. And I'd be dead right now.

[The verdict: Four dollars per tamale is steep, but that's about 1/1 millionth of what it costs to go to space as a space tourist. So consider it a good deal. Also, they're enormous.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me.

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

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