12:50pm

Mon March 11, 2013
The Salt

Sandwich Monday: Cool Ranch Tacos

When Taco Bell released the Doritos Locos Taco last year, taco watchers everywhere knew the Cool Ranch Taco couldn't be that far behind. It's a basic Taco Bell taco, but the shell has been coated in Cool Ranch Doritos dust.

Robert: Does Taco Bell still use the slogan "Run for the Border," or have all the rogue food scientists already escaped?

Ian: Man, this taste really takes me back to that place Nowhere In Mexico.

Ian: Something tells me the fairy that sprinkled the magic flavor dust on these is incapable of flight.

Miles: The only thing harder to scrub off than magic flavor dust is the shame you feel from eating a Doritos Taco Loco.

Robert: I have to admit, this works better than the time Long John Silver used goldfish crackers to make the Filet-O-Minnow sandwich. I had to eat a whole school of those.

Peter: I think it's awful that we're raising a generation for whom the word "ranch" will mean "extra salty."

Ian: Is there such a thing as Don'tritos?

Mike: I wouldn't be surprised if Taco Bell moved their entire operation to the Cool Ranch. The horses are right there.

Eva: If grown-ups put "cool" in front of something, teenagers will automatically NOT eat it. Maybe this was Michelle Obama's idea.

Peter: Is this why my kids refuse to sit and watch PBS Cool Newshour with Cool Lehrer with me?

[The verdict: Not the best. This combines two sacred snacks, Cool Ranch Doritos and Taco Bell Tacos, but doesn't improve either of them.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

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