What makes baseball great is that there's so little happening, it's a chance to really pay attention to what you're eating.
AT&T Park in San Francisco embraces this. There is a sushi bar right by our seats, but we made the long walk around the stadium in search of the famous Crazy Crab'z Sandwich. It's Dungeness craband tomato on grilled sourdough — with butter, butter and a pinch of butter.
Mike: Poor Barry Bonds. It wasn't steroids. This sandwich is why he doubled in size.
Ian: The only bad thing about this sandwich is you have to sit through a baseball game to get one.
People here really love this sandwich. Usually when there's a line this long at a stadium, there's a urinal at the end of it.
Ian: Everything here is locally sourced. If you notice, second baseman Joe Panik grows the tomatoes himself, right at the edge of the outfield.
Mike: Do you think any of these players have ever been busted for crabbing their bats?
The Crazy Crab'z Sandwich is $16. That seems like a lot, but in baseball stadium economy that's like 1.5 terrible beers, and in San Francisco economy that's 1/1,000,000th of your monthly rent.
Mike: Eating this, I now understand why the Giants also have a third-inning stretch.
Ian: It's really touching when the whole stadium sings "buy me some sushi and Dungeness crab" in unison.
[The verdict: This is a spectacular stadium food. Buttery, fresh, perfect. If you're choosing between the classic hot dog and this, ask yourself why you're choosing at all, and get two of each.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
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