I am not a friend of the marmot.
It resembles a hairy, lumbering laundry bag.
Marmots live above timberline, where my wife and I encountered them on a hike in Rocky Mountain National Park. We were enjoying a PB&J feast on a giant pile of rocks next to the Ute Trail.
But not for long.
Three plump marmots sniffed out our high-altitude picnic and took turns charging at our daypacks. I was so anxious I couldn’t even take a nap —my second-favorite hiking activity, right after eating lunch. That’s why I’m 100% in favor of wolverine reintroduction in Colorado. Because wolverines love to eat marmots as much as marmots love to eat peanut butter and jelly.
Colorado Parks and Wildlife recently announced plans to reintroduce wolverines in Colorado. They were spurred on by our state legislature, which voted for the carnivores in 2024. Wolverines had been missing from Colorado for a hundred years–and that’s one deficit our legislature is willing to address. I know what you’re thinking: Not another unwelcome carnivore to attack our delicious local cattle!
Not to worry: Elsie and Ferdinand are safe. At least from wolverines.
The Sierra Club website calls them “bear-like weasels.” And the wolverine is a mighty, muscular weasel. The beagle-sized beasts like to tear apart elk carcasses and store them in weasel pantries for later snacking.
Unlike mountain lions, marmots are ineffectual hunters, and thus are unlikely to stalk your family dog. But marmots are just stupid and slow enough to be caught by a wolverine. In a couple of years, the Ute trail could again become safe for picnicking.
Right now we’re in the public comment phase of wolverine reintroduction. It’s worth careful consideration. Wildlife officials are still hurting over wolf reintroduction, which hasn’t worked out well for Colorado’s cattle. It hasn’t even worked out for the wolves, which seem to be dying in droves. I still regret the cavalier vote I cast for reintroduction in 2020, which effectively threw Parks and Wildlife to the wolves.
We now know that voters are not good wildlife biologists.
But wolverine reintroduction will be different, wildlife officials say. For one thing, wolverines live above 10,000 feet. Only the most adventurous cow would travel that high. And wolverines relish animals that are already dead, and thus easier to catch. So they’re more clean-up crew than carnivore. In a pinch, a lactating wolverine mom will eat a ground squirrel or with any luck, a marmot. But who cares? Marmots and squirrels are alpine rats, so they deserve all that wolverines can dish out.
Another argument in favor of wolverines: You’ll probably never see one. If the reintroduction goes well, about 100 wolverines will occupy the spine of the Rockies, a region that is accessible mostly by helicopter. So unless you’re a dead ungulate, you won’t have to worry.
Still, I have my doubts. Wolverines are happiest in snow. And that's another endangered species here in Colorado. Maybe Parks and Wildlife should reintroduce snowstorms, first?
